The Feelings about Physical Change

ftm

 

The next topic of the project is that of the negative feelings associated with the physical changes that may occur, surgeries and other changes.

I know many FtM stress over the effects of T but I never have. I have a well-established beard without the help of hormones and I realise I am lucky there. Instead of fretting for hair to grow my change was to stop shaving four times a day and be more natural. I still have to shave once a day to keep things tidy and encourage the growth (if indeed shaving encourages growth) of a moustache. In fact the stress of keeping that defect as I once considered it hidden has gone and in that sense I am a lot more relaxed.

The big thing for me is top surgery. I despise my chest and want it gone. The fear I have here is that it might not be the defining point I have built it up to be in my head. I know it will not mean life is suddenly going to be fabulous or anything unrealistic but still it is a very real fear.

Surgeries by nature carry a risk factor and yes those risks need to be considered rationally. Not easy when the very process of transition makes life anything but rational. Taking a step back and looking at the different procedures in the cold light of reality is not easy. It is also too easy to let the potential outcome override the evaluating thought processes so one becomes blinkered.

Love and light

Jez

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9 thoughts on “The Feelings about Physical Change

  1. One day at a time, right? It may may not seem like treasure some days but your version of a travel log leaves trail markers for those coming up the their paths. Good work. Dan

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