Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones


Hi everyone, the resident gender-bender of the blogosphere here. Seriously, had some idiot yell that at me in town this week as if I was going to even find that offensive. As always I responded with a ‘yes and what is special about you?’ Come off it I have used every derogatory term for gay and transgender there is at myself, it really is not going to upset me folks. We live in a world of diversity and it is that diversity that makes the world so wonderful. And I so want that sweatie I have used to illustrate this post!

So what of the term ‘gender-bender’? I really do not see it as offensive apart from it being slightly, ever-so inaccurate. Gender in itself cannot be bent.  I see it as bending the rules in a system, the system being the gender binary which is so flawed it does not need bending it needs completely smashing into smithereens. Therefore gender-buster would be more accurate and if it means breaking the old dogmatic system that is so deeply integrated into our thinking and being then I am proud to be so.

As to name calling when someone is different from the social expectations, it is all just a little bit sad really. In the adult world we are able to make our own decisions without the approval of anyone else being wanted or necessary. I am going to change gender whatever happens so anyone not approving has two choices shut up or pack up and I do not care much either way which they do.

On to better things, Doc M had my blood work results and I am now on Metformin for my diabetes which I suppose after 25 years diet-controlled I cannot complain about. It is one little tablet a day taking my daily shaker of pills to 12 – and I thought it was the old bones rattling away. Cholesterol was lower than I thought it would be and with the changes I have made in my diet so I shift the extra weight it should drop a bit lower.

Blood pressure is still a bit high but it has dropped a fair bit from August/September, just need to keep stress free the Doc says – yeah she knows that is not likely in the next millennium but I know I do need to chill out a bit more as my migraines are still regular even though they are less intense.

Next week is my appointment with the psyche to get my discharge so the referral can proceed. That means more waiting but at least it is progress. In some ways the waiting is good as it gives me time to make the needed changes to my life. Nothing will happen overnight with the NHS.

Again to all of you who send me messages I am really touched by your support and well wishes – thank you. You guys rock!


Love and light




© JG Farmer 2013


A Future Reflection – Mayhaps!

A Future Reflection – Mayhaps!


I saw this post on Victoria Oldham’s blog – link, and thought I would answer the same questions visualizing how I see the man I will be. As I really have no idea how things will pan out I have used a bit of creative licence.

Make that a lot of creative licence!!!

Physical traits:

This bit is easy as I am already looking more like my dad. 5’5” as I am already and that will not change to any great degree.  Short dark hair, slicked back. Goatee and moustache.


I already have 4 tattoos but see myself having quite a few more marking key points of the transition. Also piercings . There will be scars inevitably from the realignment surgeries.

Goals, short term and long term:

Short term: Top surgery and T therapy so I can truly begin the RLE. It is difficult to live the reality of masculine when a DD bust is getting in the way. RLE is vital as it helps prepare the transitioning person for the way life will be.

Long Term: The point where the transition no longer dictates my life and I can get back on with writing and researching.  I am also now seeing myself in the future as fully male so lower surgery is more than likely on the cards too.

Archetype/Universal Trait:

Using Greek archetypes I think it is the Explorer. Each day I am becoming aware of an inherent need to be true to myself and discover for myself who I am. There is no shortcuts each day has to be lived so I can move forward.

How do they move through the world:

Making as little disturbance as is humanly possible. In some ways I like feeling invisible and unnoticed right now – it means I am passing! The day will come when I do not have to worry about that and it really cannot come soon enough. Being mis-gendered in public is not a pleasant experience.


Very much an old-school gentleman, in the style of Lord Peter Wimsey. Quietly intellectual hidden behind a foppish demeanour. Yeah I like that!!!

Attracted to:

Right now I keep others at a long distance through necessity. What will Jeremy find attractive, or who, well I already know the answer to that and it remains private.


Going backwards, I will not go back to the past; it is gone – she is gone!


To be who I am and not have to justify every breath and thought. I would also like to see the world change to a more ecological stable one but I will not be holding my breath on that either.


This has been quite a challenge to write so thank you for the push Victoria.


Love and light


Jeremy’s Blog Supplementary



After meeting with Doc M my diagnosis is that I am gender dysphoric – as we already knew of course. Unfortunately she tells me we have also hit the first hurdle of the formal transition – the National Health Authority. They have informed her that they will only recognise my name when I have completed the full realignment and been recertified as male.

To say my Doc M is furious at such blatant prejudice is a mild understatement. She is not the only one. I have done some checking with the Deed Poll Advisory Service and I do not even have to show them my deed poll to change my name with the NHA, I just have to inform them – so they have been duly informed that I am Jeremy Gwion Farmer (Mr).

Doc M is going to back me all the way if we need to take this to the ERC as it is discrimination and that is illegal in this country. Equality does not work if our national organisations are not on board and practicing equal rights.


supplementary ii


© JG Farmer 2013