An extra post already but events require it. Today the letter from my doctor arrived confirming my referral to ‘The Laurels’ in Exeter. It also included my primary consultation appointment for 22 October 2013. This is not months away like we thought it would be it is just over two weeks away. I am excited, overjoyed, overwhelmed and terrified. I have no doubts about my need to do this journey; it is the fear of the unknown. However, it is not overshadowing the joy I feel. In a week that has been nothing short of torture emotionally a simple letter has brought me comfort.
As I intend to mark the progress points with a piercing or a tattoo I have scheduled a piercing for 23 October to mark the first major step towards Jeremy. This first step needs to be marked but two weeks is not enough time to plan a tattoo, although I do have a sketch in mind for a tattoo of transition.
I still wonder where this will all end and what I will become or end up with. I know it will be the person I am meant to be but it does seem strange I have no real idea who he is. I honestly feel like I am getting to know this person, me, for the first time all though I have known of his existence for most of my life. It is very similar to meeting a long lost relative. I get coy and shy at myself which may sound crazy and quite possibly is. Even meeting people I know well and feel comfortable with it is like meeting them anew as Jeremy and I am aware they also need time to accept or not the changes going on. I do not feel hurt if they refer to me as Jem or Jemmy, but oh wow the rush when they use Jeremy – I have no words to describe that.
© J Farmer 2013